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Tantrums are toddlers’ natural way of expressing their frustration and dealing with toddler tantrums can be hard. Like crying when they’re babies, temper tantrums become the natural way toddlers deal with their feelings. For younger children, they cannot help expressing their emotions in this way, and tantrums will lessen when children acquire more language and their communication skills increase.
Toddlers can have tantrums when they are hungry or tired or feeling anxious in a new environment. It can also be anger at a lack of control so try and give them control over certain decisions in their lives like what clothes they want to wear.
Explain why they can’t have their way
Rather than simply saying no to your child’s request, it can be beneficial to give the reason why. This will help them learn to analyse situations and understand other people’s needs and perspectives. Also when the word ‘no’ becomes overused, it loses its significance.
Remain calm when dealing with toddler tantrums
Shouting at your child when they are having a tantrum will only raise tension and make them more hysterical. Likewise, fussing or begging them to stop may also make things worse. Remember that children learn behaviour and the way you respond may be copied. Remaining calm in difficult situations yourself will teach them to do so throughout their lives.
Give your child the attention they’re after in the form of eye contact; a sharp look can be far more effective than yelling. Speak calmly and carefully; it may be prudent to not speak at all until they’ve calmed down.
Don’t engage with it
Often it can be sensible to walk away. Particularly if you spot a tantrum brewing, distracting your child or leaving the room may prevent it from developing further.
During a tantrum, it’s best not to speak much at all. Anything that might encourage them to continue, such as asking them what they want or threatening them, will usually prolong the tantrum. Wait until they have calmed down to talk about it.
Try to look for the reason behind the tantrum as it may be something really simple like they are overtired and need a nap.
Encourage them to tell you what’s wrong rather than throwing a tantrum
Teaching your child to tell you what’s troubling them instead of having a tantrum can be beneficial for both of you.
Help them to learn words that accurately express their feelings. When they do come to tell you what’s wrong, listen to them patiently rather than trying to put words in their mouth. There’s nothing more frustrating to a child than an adult saying, “You’re just tired” when they’re genuinely upset about something.
Calm them down if they’re really upset
If your child has become so upset they are hurting themselves, hold them tightly to your body and speak soothingly to them.
Children can have short attention spans and distraction can be a very powerful tool so removing them from the situation or environment they are in can often work.
Praise good behaviour
Positive reinforcement when they behave well is the key to encouraging them to do it again. Make sure to praise them when they stop the tantrum, and especially if they remembered to articulate their feelings. Don’t try bribe them with sweets.
If they are getting upset over something new that is difficult for them, like moving up an age group at nursery or potty training, be a bit more patient and spend time talking to them about it so you can lessen their anxiety.