Tips to help settle your child into nursery

Settling your child into nursery is not always easy for parents but this article highlights top tips on starting nursery and how to help your child settle into nursery.

Tips on starting nursery

Leaving your child can cause distress and anxiety not only for the child but also the parent or carer. This may be the first time you have been apart from your child. This initial separation can be very hard on both of you. These tips can help both you and your child adjust to what is a new and exciting stage in your child’s life.

Get your child used to other children

It is a good idea to take your child to a baby or toddler group. They provide an opportunity for you to meet other parents and carers and for your child to play with other children in a safe and friendly environment. This will get them used to being around their peers.

Marta Piotrowska, manager of Colville Nursery & Pre-School in west London (LEYF), recommends music groups. These can teach “your child to learn new words, to follow a rhyme, to listen and follow instructions.” “These are steps for learning new words to support their language as well as introducing early maths through counting and rhythm language”.

Practise the route to nursery

Make a point of walking or driving past the nursery several times so they can become familiar with the nursery and what it looks like.

If you need to take public transport, point out the number on the bus you will be taking or the platform number where the train arrives so they will become familiar with the journey. Whilst travelling, point out memorable landmarks.

Make sure you take the time to walk past the nursery stopping to point out the gates they will be walking through and any characteristics of the setting. 

Be positive and smile when talking about nursery to your child

Be positive and cheerful when you talk to your child about nursery as he or she will quickly pick up on any feelings of anxiety.

When your child is very young, you are the main influence in their life and their mood will often be affected by yours. If you make nursery sound like an exciting place, they will hopefully see it as that.

Nursery practitioners will have lots of experience in dealing with the transition to nursery so do talk to them about any concerns you have.

Be prepared for your child to cry

Many children cry when you first leave them at nursery. This can be extremely hard. You need to have trust in the nursery staff as they are very used to this and you need to stay emotionally strong so your child doesn’t pick up on your emotions.

Get to know parents at the nursery

Some nurseries are situated near a local park. After picking up your child from nursery, it is a good idea to visit your local park so they can continue playing with some of the children at the nursery. 

This is not only good for your child but is also a good way to get to know other parents and carers from the nursery. 

Go to events run by the nursery

Whether it’s Father’s Day, an Easter egg hunt or a Christmas party, your nursery will plan events for parents to attend.

This is also a great opportunity to mix with other parents and carers and see your child socialise and play with other children.

Join a WhatsApp group

Ask your nursery if there is a parent and carer WhatsApp group where they can organise social activities outside of nursery and your child can form stronger friendships.

Alex McClean, deputy manager of Colville Nursery & Pre-School (LEYF) says: “The nursery staff do all they can to ensure the child is soothed. They give them a lot of cuddles and try to distract them with different activities and resources.”

Let your child’s settling in process go at the speed of the child

Some children will struggle to settle in a nursery environment. It is important to let the settling in process go at the speed of your child. Recognise that being in unfamiliar surroundings with unfamiliar people can be overwhelming for them.

Some nurseries will arrange a home visit, so they can get to know your child in a familiar environment and find out their likes and dislikes. Other nurseries will like your child to do a series of short visits to the nursery to ensure they feel comfortable and secure.

There is a statutory requirement for all nurseries to have a key worker who will liaise with you while your child is at nursery and support your child’s emotional well being.

All nurseries will have a settling in policy and it is useful to see this to help prepare you and your child for the transition to nursery.

How does a nursery help children settle in?

Most nurseries offer short settling in sessions that you can attend with your child so you are there as a reassurance while they get used to their new surroundings.

This helps you to get to know the nursery staff. You can answer any questions they may have about your child. You can also watch your child interacting with their peers.

Settling in sessions

Settling in nursery sessions, according to Alex McClean, deputy manager of Colville Nursery & Pre-School (LEYF) in London, are “the best way to slowly ease a child and parent/family into the setting”.

The settling in process “takes time, care and commitment to ensure a smooth and successful transition from home to nursery. 

A “settling in procedure helps to support the child emotionally as this will help the child to build harmonious relationships with their new key teacher and the rest of nursery community.”

Colville Nursery & Pre-School (LEYF) holds three settling in sessions. It expects parents and carers to be available at all times during these sessions. 

First day

Its manager, Ms Piotrowska says: “The first day is also an ideal time for parents and carers to meet everyone who works in the nursery including teachers from other rooms and the chef. This is also a time when staff discover the child’s interests and other idiosyncrasies such as if they have a comfort toy or transition object which provides solace and reassurance. 

“This is an ideal time to discuss your child’s food likes and dislikes with our in-house chef who works at the nursery. Food is a big area of concern for many parents and getting it right from the start is a huge relief.

“Soon, parents will be surprised just how well their children eat in the company of their peers. It really puts parents’ minds at rest.”

Second day

On the second day, parents and carers are encouraged to bring their child to the nursery earlier before the morning rush begins, so the child can settle more easily.

Some parents will leave the nursery but stay close by. Others like to stay at the nursery but will be asked by staff to sit in reception so the child can settle in better.

Colville Nursery & Pre-School (LEYF) asks parents and carers to pick their children up earlier on the second days. This is because “we find children settle better if parents and carers come to pick the child up earlier. Children can get upset if they see a lot of other children going and think their parents or carers aren’t coming,” says Ms Piotrowska.

Third day

On the third day, there will be a longer session of a few hours. This is usually inclusive of lunch and nap time at the nursery.

How long does it take for a child to settle into nursery?

This can differ according to the child. Some children may settle really quickly while others can take up to a month. 

Ms Piotrowska says parents should bear in mind “that every child is different so the settling in process can take as little as a few days for some while others will take a few weeks to adjust to the nursery.”

If a child is doing just one session a week at nursery it can take longer to settle. A week is a long time for a young child and it can take them longer to get into a routine. 

Will my child take longer to settle if English is their second language?

Children adapt so quickly and can learn new words very quickly but they will need support to do this.

For children where English is their second language, parents can give a list of keywords to help staff communicate with the child in their first language. This helps the child feel included and will help them settle more quickly.

Keywords could include mummy and daddy, toilet as well as the names of certain food items and drinks.